


Dress Up

by foronesong



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:00:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3545288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foronesong/pseuds/foronesong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy and Jane take Thor shopping. Nothing ever goes as planned but everything is mostly okay in the end anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dress Up

**Author's Note:**

> This was not my idea. Blame counterpunch  
> Also probably no one is in character sorry!

“Oh no, it’s fine, you can do it here. No need to spend all that extra energy,” Darcy says. There are ways to make that statement sound reassuring:

 

  *       Jane _not_ facepalming in the background
  *       Someone other than Darcy Lewis making that statement



 

As it stands, Thor just looks at her suspiciously. “In Asgard, it is considered a rudeness to be nude in public.”

 

“Yeah but that’s Asgard and this is Earth and you’re you so chop chop big guy.”

 

When Jane had hired Darcy, she had been overworked, under-rested and had ended up under a small avalanche of papers twice before. Darcy’s résumé, such as it was, contained the three following bullet points:

 

  *       Great at organization: keeps a tidy workspace and manages day-to-day filing.
  *       Has experience in collecting data in the field.
  *       Can make coffee



 

In Darcy’s defense, Jane had never asked about her people skills. Which, she has. It’s the alien communication skills that she’s really lacking.

 

In Jane’s defense, she really only noticed and/or cared about the last of the three bullet points.

 

So now they’re here: Thor with a sock monkey on his head and a Christmas sweater with Rudolph’s head on it. The Rudolph had mismatched eyes and a nose matching Jane’s current complexion. Before, they were in a Hot Topic and Thor had been trying on skinny jeans.

 

He hadn’t appreciated that they had so clearly emphasized the muscle tone in his legs, kept saying that there was no room for movement. Darcy’s pretty sure that Jane’s a still little disappointed about that one. She’s been giving his thighs linger stares when she thinks he won’t notice but he definitely does if the smoky returning looks are anything to go by.

 

It’s not that Darcy has an issue with sex. Sex can lead to orgasms and she’s a fan of those. She just mostly has an issue on being caught between all the eye-fucking and left out in the rain – literally! left out in the rain – whenever anything terrible happens.

Darcy is mostly okay with this because Jane now has a grant and can keep paying her to run to the nearest not!Starbucks for a coffee run. Darcy’s also pretty okay with Thor because he drops by every once in a while now, not too often because of something science and honestly, she’s not about that life. But, the point is, he drops by and Jane’s still working hard to see if there’s a way to open the Bifrost. And Jane’s happy. And, with everything else that’s been going on –

 

“If I ever tell any of this to people, to my mom or my dad or my friends, they’re going to think I’m crazy.”

 

Jane stops trying to coax the sweater out of Thor’s grip and turns to look to her. And, yeah, having this conversation with Jane might have not been the best idea because up until very recently people had called Jane crazy to her face, had edged away from her until she was alone, even her friends.

 

Also, they are in an H&M and Jane is trying to wrestle an ugly Christmas sweater out of what-could-be-considered-a-god’s hands. That’s not just in reference to his body either.

 

“Probably,” Jane says quietly. “Are you okay with that?”

 

“If your parents wish, I can regale them with tales of the high court,” Thor offers. “I’m sure they would find our misadventures to be very amusing.”

 

Darcy considers this but then shakes her head, scatters the moment. “I think you should show them _miu miu_. You guys realize we could totally run a scam using that thing, right?”

 

Jane sighs and lets go of the sweater.

 

Darcy leads them to a changing room.

 

-

 

Reasons Darcy Lewis is happy with her job:

 

  *       She’s probably helped save the world, even if she can’t tell anyone else
  *       At some point, a fifth of what Jane’s been saying started making sense
  *       They’re taking a maybe-god clothes shopping because chainmail is not appropriate winter-wear



 

 

 

 

 


End file.
